Another year will soon finally ends. A few more weeks before 2024 and I'm still overwhelmed with a lot of happenings from the year 2023. As you can see, (if you have noticed some of my post from a few years ago) I always leave sentiments whenever a year ends. This 2023, I just wanted to share some of my learnings and thoughts as I finally open a new chapter of the year 2024. This year, I've learned a few things just like any other years that had already passed. I feel motivated to write this entry because there's a lot of things that I wanted to share.
Although this year, I feel unmotivated at times and I experienced a lot of failures (I got delayed in medical school) somehow I realized how Failures and rejections humbles us. It teaches us to become teachable. To learn from other people, to listen with their experiences. It makes us realize that we don't always need to be greater than everyone else, just to prove something and feel worthy of existence. Failures make us human.
Looking back, I'm 21 years old when I started to write a post about the year 2019. I've shared a lot of learnings and somehow, as I read those posts a few years ago, (specially about wanting to enter medical school) I appreciated that today, as I looked back at those years, I realized that somehow I'm living my past self's dream. Whether plans may or not align with what I've hoped for, this year gave me insights and different experience I'll never forget.
This year, I realized how important it is to reconnect with yourself and the people you love. Sometimes you need to slow things down, even when the world is moving too fast. I learn how to make time even for the smallest of things (doing errands, spending time with my family, have a little self care, have a self date, read books etc.) Last year, I always chase for productivity, deadlines, always wanting to prove something just to feel worthy. I feel exhausted and burnout.
When I only took my back subjects, I got a lot of time to re-process the habits I'm trying to build. My grades and exam scores improved and I tried to stop thinking there's something wrong with me when the plans don't work out. Seldom, I tend to shut people out and feel irritated. I only focus for the things I needed to finish even when it means not spending time with my family. I got drowned in focusing on myself too much. Chasing extraordinary things that I forgot those ordinary moments that should matter to me, more than anything else.
I learned to accept that things take time. Learning is a process and in achieving your goals, you need to find the right balance. Sometimes we define ourselves for all the things we've accomplished but what if things don't work out the way it is supposed to? Does it make me less worthy?
When I reconnected with my friends, I've learned something from them too. Some of my friends already have their jobs, studying abroad, living independently or have a family of their own and little by little investing on something. Life is really moving too fast and one of my best friend will get married soon. I couldn't be more grateful to become a listener, to be a part of their life, to see them strive, being with them throughout the years and growing up with these people, I feel genuinely happy for them.
I realize that somehow we're all learners, (when I talked to them after so many years of not seeing each other) some of them told me how they are trying, changing plans, trying to learn adulting stuff, starting to discover themselves just like me. They seldom doubt themselves too but still focusing on their own lives and striving to make their lives better. Somehow, I'm not alone and from them, I've learned a lot.
Aside from failures, reconnecting with people humbles you. Life doesn't stop there, Your family and friends can also become your inspiration. This year, I appreciated those people who gave me lessons, who supported me and those people whose opinions really matter to me.
In 2024, all these learnings will serve as a reminder. Goodbye 2023.
