In your 20s

I'd like to reminisce my 20 year old self. It was month of July, I had no idea how to celebrate a 20th birthday so I just asked my mom to join me for a simple museum date on which she gladly accepted although at that moment, she had a lot of things to do and quite tired for an errand. I really appreciated her for that. But for me, turning 20 is quite a realization. Our twenties is a weird but transformative stage.

Although some people expect you to act like a full grown adult but they treat you like a kid, it is the stage of our lives where we need to jump out of our comfort zones and explore the unknowns and what ifs. A time where we need to decide all the things that we will consider every step of the way. Becoming fearless despite everything is uncertain. I used to think that if I finished college and get a decent job, I can finally say that I'm successful. But I realized that life doesn't work that way. 20s is just the beginning of lifelong learning and adulting. I shall say that there are some things I've overcome and some things that I still need to understand. But one thing is certain, Change is inevitable. You will grow up, meet strangers, lose some people you once knew and learn a lot of things as part of adulthood. There are a lot of moments of uncertainties, rejections and small wins. Sometimes you will change plans and decide for the better, "As one door closes, another opens."

My teenage years used to stick to one plan, (Plan A) like everything seems certain. You think you have it all figured out but now in twenties, life begins to pull in many directions. If Plan A doesn't work, you need a Plan B until you reach the limit of those alphabets and come up with an idea until Plan Z. When we were a kid, we were naïve and innocence is a bliss. Responsibilities and expectations were not that high, there are moments of carelessness and troubles, everything is simple and the world is gentle. Sometimes I miss being a kid. Although life in 20s are full of mishaps, victories and uncertainties, after all we have a freedom to choose. But in that freedom, we have a responsibility. It is the harsh and best years of growing up and knowing yourself. There are changing of careers and venturing out on your own, the need to work harder and save money, the pressure of the society to make you settle down, relationships drives you crazy and you will make bad decisions. Sometimes you compare yourself to others like you think they have all things figured out when the truth is that they're just as uncertain and scared as you.

I guess turning 23 after a month, I can never be sure of what will happen in my life for the next few years. But I believe in having faith and learning from my mistakes. I believe that life is scary at times, but we only have one life so why not live a life fearlessly exploring?

An ordinary girl finding her purpose and trying to navigate through life,