One night, as I was busy strolling outside a nearby mall, I checked my phone for messages. I saw 24 messages. I realized that our professor scheduled us to join a meeting for a grade consultation. I was relief to be accepted in the online meeting despite of being late. She said that my grades are improving and that I was included to those who somehow got a high score for the prelim exam.
Last week, when one of my Biochemistry shifting exam score was also released, I saw that I only got one mistake in the exam. I also noticed that my scores aren't as low as before and that I'm able to passed the shiftings. I feel relieved, specially that I already experienced failing those subjects last year. Maybe, I'm comfortable for now but I still need to learn and study for the rest of the school year to maintain the scores. Somehow, I don't want to invalidate these small wins. My failure and the awful feeling of not being included in the list of those who outright passed last year somehow motivates me to study. I guess seeing my mom worried when I told her "I want to quit" last year also motivates me.
Because at the back of her mind, I only wanted to quit just because I failed, but what if I passed the subject? Maybe I wouldn't have thought about it. I'm lucky to have a supportive family where we can talk about how can we all move forward about complicated situations and failures. Maybe they're right, I shall not quit when things are difficult.
